The King had to leave his Kingdom for some business. He was afraid that his only Daughter would be taken advantage of by some of the Guards because she was a very deep sleeper. So before he left, he slipped a razor blade between the lips of her vagina.
Birthing pains: easy!
October 18, 2007 at 5:18 am (Nuts for the Road)
Tags: coule, delivery, mail man
A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital. The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery. He offered to let the couple try an experimental procedure. The woman would be connected to a machine that would transfer part of the pain to the father of the baby, thus reducing her own. The man quickly agreed. The doctor warned him, though, that there was a slight bug in the machine that caused it to amplify the pain sent to the father 10 times, and if the pain became too much for the father to bear he should let the doctor know.
PINOYS: World Class
October 18, 2007 at 5:10 am (Nuts for the Road)
Tags: drinking, foreigners, pinoy, Saudi
A Pinoy, German and Pakistani get arrested in Saudi for drinking and were sentenced to get 20 lashes. Before getting whipped, the law enforcement’s top brass announces: “It’s my wife’s birthday and she asked me to allow you a wish.” The German said: “Please tie a pillow to my back.” His wish is granted but the pillow only lasts 10 lashes. He’s carried away bleeding. The Pakistani’s next. He requests two pillows on his back. It lasted only 15 lashes, the guy’s sent away whimpering. The Pinoy’s up. Before he could say anything, the coppers said to him: “You are from a beautiful country. For this, you get two wishes!”
No Escape
October 17, 2007 at 8:22 am (Nuts for the Road)
Tags: old rich man, pregnant girl
An 18-year-old girl went to see her mom to tell her that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drug store and buys a pregnancy kit. The test results show that the girl is pregnant.
Kick me
October 17, 2007 at 8:12 am (Nuts for the Road)
Tags: jokes, lawyer, old farmer
A city lawyer went duck hunting in a rural town. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s paddock on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer walked up to him and asked what he was doing. The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
Holy potty-mouth!
October 17, 2007 at 3:14 am (Nuts for the Road)
Tags: church, jokes, secretary
A crusty old man walks into a local church and says to the secretary, “I would like to join this damn church.” The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?” “Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!” “I’m very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church.”
The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor’s study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old man, “Sir, what seems to be the problem here?” “There is no damn problem,” the man says. “I just won P36 million in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money.” “I see,” said the pastor. “And is this bitch giving you a hard time?” Ronald del Mundo, by email
http://www.fhm.com.ph/incoming/bar-room-jokes?id=844
