The King had to leave his Kingdom for some business. He was afraid that his only Daughter would be taken advantage of by some of the Guards because she was a very deep sleeper. So before he left, he slipped a razor blade between the lips of her vagina.
Birthing pains: easy!
October 18, 2007 at 5:18 am (Nuts for the Road)
Tags: coule, delivery, mail man
A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital. The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery. He offered to let the couple try an experimental procedure. The woman would be connected to a machine that would transfer part of the pain to the father of the baby, thus reducing her own. The man quickly agreed. The doctor warned him, though, that there was a slight bug in the machine that caused it to amplify the pain sent to the father 10 times, and if the pain became too much for the father to bear he should let the doctor know.
One step away
October 18, 2007 at 5:11 am (Bread for the Road)
Tags: effort, success
- If you were just one step away from reaching your goal, would you take that step? How do you know, right now, that you’re not?
- What a shame it would be to stop making the effort, when just a little bit more would make it all worthwhile. What a shame it would be to have taken all those steps, only to miss the very last one.
- The next step you take may very well be the one that makes all the others count. You owe it to yourself, and the efforts you’ve made, to keep going.
- No, the next step may not get you there. Yet what about the one after that? If you keep moving ahead, a little at a time, you will indeed arrive. When you take that final, triumphant step, you’ll be so very thankful you persevered.
- At some point success is just one step away. Keep going and you’ll be there.
PINOYS: World Class
October 18, 2007 at 5:10 am (Nuts for the Road)
Tags: drinking, foreigners, pinoy, Saudi
A Pinoy, German and Pakistani get arrested in Saudi for drinking and were sentenced to get 20 lashes. Before getting whipped, the law enforcement’s top brass announces: “It’s my wife’s birthday and she asked me to allow you a wish.” The German said: “Please tie a pillow to my back.” His wish is granted but the pillow only lasts 10 lashes. He’s carried away bleeding. The Pakistani’s next. He requests two pillows on his back. It lasted only 15 lashes, the guy’s sent away whimpering. The Pinoy’s up. Before he could say anything, the coppers said to him: “You are from a beautiful country. For this, you get two wishes!”
Must do
October 18, 2007 at 5:07 am (Bread for the Road)
Tags: task, work
- In each task that must be done, there is opportunity. See the task not as a burden, but as an encouragement to be fully alive and effective.
- The real burden would be the inability to do anything. No task is a burden, but is instead the chance to express your own aliveness.
- Does the work seem dreary, unimaginative, tedious or boring? That’s mainly because your attitude makes it so.
- See what happens when you start by being thankful for the opportunity to do it. Your genuine gratitude will help you to see the positive value.
- When the things you must do become things you want to do, it can transform your life. Each moment takes on more meaning; each effort brings greater and greater reward.
- Rather than fighting and forcing yourself to do what must be done, let go of your resistance and allow yourself to accomplish. Let what you must, become what you want, and watch yourself begin to soar.
No Escape
October 17, 2007 at 8:22 am (Nuts for the Road)
Tags: old rich man, pregnant girl
An 18-year-old girl went to see her mom to tell her that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drug store and buys a pregnancy kit. The test results show that the girl is pregnant.
Kick me
October 17, 2007 at 8:12 am (Nuts for the Road)
Tags: jokes, lawyer, old farmer
A city lawyer went duck hunting in a rural town. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s paddock on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer walked up to him and asked what he was doing. The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
Slow down
October 17, 2007 at 7:57 am (Bread for the Road)
Tags: journey, life, race
- Life is not a race. It is a journey.
- Getting someplace first, before anyone else, has very little real and lasting meaning. Seek instead to encourage others to come along, and you’ll find the journey much more fulfilling.
- When you hurry through each moment, you miss out on the richness that could be yours. Take the time to live, to experience where you are, rather than being so obsessed with getting to the next checkpoint.
- When you stop demanding to have it all now, you’ll discover that you have plenty already. Learn to experience joy where you are, and you’ll experience it in abundance.
- Yes, it can be wonderfully exhilarating when life is moving quickly. But do not move so quickly that speed becomes your only experience, for there is so much more to enjoy.
- The terrain of life is filled with wonderful and astounding detail. Slow down and take in its richness.
http://www.ezsoftech.com/stories/default.asp
One step away
October 17, 2007 at 7:53 am (Bread for the Road, Management)
Tags: effort, one step, story
- If you were just one step away from reaching your goal, would you take that step? How do you know, right now, that you’re not?
- What a shame it would be to stop making the effort, when just a little bit more would make it all worthwhile. What a shame it would be to have taken all those steps, only to miss the very last one.
- The next step you take may very well be the one that makes all the others count. You owe it to yourself, and the efforts you’ve made, to keep going.
- No, the next step may not get you there. Yet what about the one after that? If you keep moving ahead, a little at a time, you will indeed arrive. When you take that final, triumphant step, you’ll be so very thankful you persevered.
- At some point success is just one step away. Keep going and you’ll be there.
http://www.ezsoftech.com/stories/default.asp
You are what you think!
October 17, 2007 at 7:51 am (Bread for the Road, Management)
Tags: story, thinking
- Your inner thoughts can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.
- What you impress upon your mind, you’ll inevitably become. It’s a psychological law that whatever you desire to accomplish you must first impress upon your subconscious mind.
- Relentless, repetitive self talk will change your self image. You’ll affect your subconscious mind with verbal repetition. Constant repetition carries conviction.
- When you change your values you’ll change your behavior. Start thinking of yourself as becoming the person you want to be. Self suggestion will make you the master of yourself.
- If you believe you can, you can.
- You can become whatever you want to be.
http://www.ezsoftech.com/stories/default.asp
